Antony and the Johnsons - I Am a Bird Now

Antony and the Johnsons
I Am a Bird Now
Secretly Canadian, 2005
Appeal to elitist music critics:10/10
Late night boughts with insomnia induced depression: 9/10
Overall: 9/10

I am a giant nostalgic pansy.

I saw on the CBS morning news a segment about regret. They interviewed two doctors; both were specialists in regret, or something. Anyway, it made me wonder if there was a difference between nostalgia and regret. My own nostalgia is strong. I often have deep and emotional responses to friends and memories that revisit me from the past. I often find myself having nostalgia for things that haven't happened yet, playing out scenarios of how Christmas dinner with my family will go, for example.

In an interview, Antony talked about getting [all of the guests] together to sing on his album. He recounted a tale of being 12 years old and identifying with Boy George's album. Then, twenty years later, sitting at a piano and singing with Boy George.

"When he was in the studio, I just felt this big, long circle connecting in my spirit," he said. And that made me want to feel that same sort of thing. I was, nostalgic for the time in my future when I will have a revelation about the importance of my work. Not this blog. Not reviewing records. Something bigger, I hope. Not in terms of fame or money. It sounds egotistical, but I'd just like to be able to do or make something that inspires someone else to want to make something. Perhaps, what they create will be bigger than anything that I could've ever constructed. That is what Antony is talking about.

I Am a Bird Now is a touching, heartbreaking, and inspiring work. Of course, I can tell it's not for everyone. The akward tenor, androgynous lyrics, and stuttered song structures will probably bother most people. The fact that I take a little pride in knowing this is a little embarassing. I'm sure my egotistical and elitist sides are front and center. Most critics don't even realize they need to try and bury their egos and esoteric knowledge, not put it front and center. I don't care that much. I suspect that not many read this blog, these reviews, anyway. Even if it's not true, I'm going to keep telling myself it is. Just so it's easier to write and do whatever I want.

So, that's the end of the review.